A Sirius Thought
by Jai Lupin
Summary: Remus thinks of Sirius and Harry. After OotP and includes spoilers.
1. A Sirius Thought

Disclaimer: These people don't belong to me...wish they did, but I can't write as well with them as Joanne K. Rowling does. Anyway, some of the ideas in here also belong to someone else.  
  
A Sirius Thought  
  
He'd lost another one. All he had left of his four friends was Harry, James's son. That is, unless you counted Lily's relatives. But that was a fruitless cause, as the Dursleys would throw anything at arms legnth at the sound of the word, "wizard".  
  
Harry must be miserable, Lupin thought, loosing someone again, so soon.  
  
Harry. He had only just learned of Sirius being the innocent man he was.  
  
Well, thought Lupin, as innocent as Sirius got, at least.  
  
But his grief wasn't just for Harry, but also himself. He had lost Peter to Voldemort. He knew that even though Pettigrew still lived, he would never be the friend Remus had had back in his school days.  
  
He had lost James and Lily. The same night. It all happened so fast. And really, that's the night that Remus lost Pettigrew as well. And Sirius was sent to Azkaban.  
  
Given to dementors for something one of my other best friends did, Lupin thought miserably.  
  
And Harry. Harry had never known parents. The closest person in the world to him, just like Remus, had been taken away by Bellatrix Lestrange.  
  
Sirius's own cousin.  
  
He was an outcast. Sirius never had much of a family. The closest thing was probably James's parents. Tonks and her mother were friends of Sirius, but he never could see them while within Azkaban.  
  
And then the Potters had been taken away. Sirius had knew he had made a mistake with changing the secret keeper. It was over his head when he saw what had happened. Lupin had seen it too, briefly. He had gone to the Potter's house to see the ruins.  
  
Good thing Harry hasn't seen his house, Remus thought grimly.  
  
Sirius had probably saved Harry's life the day that the Potters died. He had given Hagrid his motorcycle and reluctantly surrendered Harry.  
  
And now Remus had lost Sirius as well. All over again, like when he was sent to Azkaban.  
  
And then there was last year. Sirius had come to the tournament to watch over Harry. Like a father. And Harry had found comfort in Sirius when he had appeared on the grass with a gleaming trophy and Cedric's body.  
  
And then there was this. Sirius dying like a hero. Sirius falling through the veil.  
  
Lupin put his face in his hands, trying to block out the image of Sirius dying.  
  
If Harry had nightmares, Remus thought, than he's going to be thinking of this for a long time...  
  
Lupin got up, went into Kreacher's den, and grabbed the picture of Bellatrix Lestrange. It wouldn't budge, so he muttered a quick charm and lifted it.  
  
Lupin threw the picture across the kitchen angerly.  
  
I suppose I'm all that's left, he thought, miserably. Maybe I'll die soon too.  
  
Remus took out parchment and quill and began to write a letter to Harry. 


	2. A Letter Back

Disclaimer: These people don't belong to me...wish they did, but I can't write as well with them as Joanne K. Rowling does.  
  
Harry recieved Remus's letter just after he had left school.  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
I know Sirius was as close to a father as you had. I know he was all you had left from James. You just have to remember one thing. Sirius died for you. I know that you are wishing he had never come to the Department of Mysteries, but when he heard, I couldn't stop him. No one in the Order could keep him back.  
  
I know I'm the last living Marauder left, aside from Peter. But he's in the service of Voldemort, and I don't expect his return. I'd just like to say that anything you need to ask about your father, Sirius, or anything else is alright.  
  
I don't believe I've ever told you my patronus's form. I think it's only fitting to tell you in this letter that it was Padfoot. Remember that he's always with you, as is Prongs.  
  
Keep in touch Harry. Don't do magic, and stay out of trouble. I'm sure we'll see eachother soon.  
  
--Remus  
  
Harry had read it twice. It was a hard thing to do. Sirius's death was the hardest thing he'd ever witnessed, and if a dementor came to town like last year, he was sure he would relive it. He would hear Lupin saying, "There's nothing you can do, Harry" and then his own panicked voice saying, "Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!" Lupin had replied, "It's too late, Harry--" and Harry and struggled as hard as he could, trying to reach the veil, trying to get Sirius back shouting, "We can still reach him--" "There's nothing you can do, Harry...nothing...He's gone."  
  
Harry didn't need dementors, he thought. The memories would relive themselves without the help of the things he feared most.  
  
Harry had been recieving a letter a day. None of them were informing, but at least Ron, Hermione, and even Tonks were trying to make his stay at the Dursley's less torturous. It seemed that they didn't want him to start yelling like he had done last year when they had kept him in the dark.  
  
But Remus's letter had surprised him. Although he had told Harry to keep in touch at Platform 9 3/4 in June, he didn't exactly expect a letter. But, perhaps, he had sent it because he had just lost his last life-time friend.  
  
Harry missed Sirius. He wanted his godfather to just come back. To walk into Harry's room, with a laugh like a bark, shaking his head, and punching Harry lightly on the arm.  
  
Sirius had known Remus since they were 11, Harry thought. What if Harry had grown up with Harry and Hermione and then lost Hermione to Voldemort...while Ron went to Azkaban? And then Ron escaped, but he died two years later for the same cause as Hermione...  
  
Harry shook his head. He didn't want to think about that. But, on the other hand, that was how Lupin had to be feeling. Everyone he'd ever cared about had died. Anyone that Harry had that was related to his father had died as well, except for Remus.  
  
Harry sat in his desk, took out his eagle feather quill, and began to write a long letter back.  
  
A/N: Sorry this is short. I don't usually do second chapters, but this isn't exactly a sequel, more like an extension. A friend of mine wanted me to write more.  
  
Love to Remus!!! 


	3. Remus's Replies

Disclaimer: These people don't belong to me...wish they did, but I can't write as well with them as Joanne K. Rowling does.  
  
Lupin got up, saw Hedwig on his desk, and walked to her very quickly, almost as if Christmas had come early. Over the past few weeks, Harry and he had been sending letters left and right, never waiting more than an hour to answer.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dear Remus,  
  
Alright then, I'll call you Remus from now on, Remus. But hear me now, Remus, I'll be saying it quite a lot to get used to it. So, Remus, I was wondering if you had asked Dumbledore about me leaving this muggle house as soon as possible. Sure, Remus, the Dursley's took your warnings a few weeks ago at Kingscross to heart, but it's still been worse than a leg-locking hex to be here...Remus.  
  
Remus, how are things at the place you're at? Good, I hope. See you soon, Remus.  
  
Harry  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Remus laughed at the letter. He scribbled a reply back, telling Harry that he doesn't have to write "Remus" in every sentence and that he had the hang of calling Lupin by his first name now. Then, tying it onto Hedwig and stroking her, he sent the letter off.  
  
The truth was that Harry, although much like his father, reminded Lupin of Sirius. His sense of humor, though tired and worn from all his adventures, was very much like Padfoot. It was like having a friend back, to talk to Harry.  
  
Lupin leaned back in his chair, on the back two legs, and balanced, wondering why he had never broken this habit. Maybe because Sirius did it, Remus thought.  
  
Just then, another owl flew in the window, and Remus let his chair fall with a loud CRACK. Then, noticing the messy looking little owl as Pig, took the letter and opened it.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Remus,  
  
I forgot to send Pig back to Ron's house, so I decided to use him instead...even though he's being a bit of a flying feather missle, rather than an owl. Anyway, I thought you'd like to see this picture. Please send it back, but it's a nice one, isn't it?  
  
Harry  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Remus took the attached picture and smiled. James was lying down under a beach tree, Sirius kneeling down beside him as they had looked so often at school. Remus was standing, his hands in his robes, a slight smile on his face. Peter was at the edge of the photograph, looking uneasy, and Lily was far off in the distance, swimming in the lake.  
  
Writing another note, Remus attached it to Pig and sent the picture and reply back to Harry. 


End file.
